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BY 

HENRY OLDHAM HANLON 

/I 

Author of "A Double Shuffle," "A Picked-Up Dinner," etc. 



V77 



^■^ '^ 



BOSTON 
1894 



CHARACTERS 



Tom Akenside, a young literary man in love ivith Ethel. 
Walter Harding, a moral coward. 
Col. Featherstone, EthcTs stepfather. 
Ethel Henderson. 

Costumes Modern. 




Copyright, 1894, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 



Mm^^'6 



FACING THE MUSIC. 



Scene. — A cotnfoj'tably furnished roo7n. Door at back, door at 
side, L., table in centre, chairs, bookcase, and an arm-chair in 
the R. corner back. Tom Akenside and Walter Harding ^^•- 
covered sitting at opposite sides of table, facing the audience, in- 
tently studying bills which they hold in their hands. 

Tom. How much did you say you owed your grocer.? 

Walter. Lej;"s see — $7.39- 

Tom. And the butcher? 

Walt, {after looking at bill). $6.50. 

Tom {figuring on a piece of paper). That's $13.89 ; and I owe 
mine pretty much the same amount. How much money have you? 

Walt, {taking money from his vest pocket). $1.75. 

Tom. And Pve got a $2 bill. That's not much, is it ? 

Walt. Well, since you ask my opinion on the subject, I should 
say decidedly not. 

Tom {folding up bills and putting them in his pocket). When 
do you go to your new job ? 

Walt. This day week, the cashier told me, they will welcome 
me with open arms at the bank. 

Tom. $3.75 to last two men with appetites like ours for the 
Lord only knows how long — great Scott ! But perhaps I may get 
paid soon for my article on the Laws of Lycurgus. The last man I 
showed it to said he was sorry he had not room for it in his maga- 
zine, and advised me to take it to somebody else. 

Walt. That was very kind of him : he might have kept it to 
look over, and put it in the waste-paper basket. 

Tom. Do you know. I think my next attempt will lie a novel, 
and that Til try and work our experiences into the plot. They would 
not make a bad opening for a story, would they ? 

Walt. No ; and Td like very much to know how the story of 
those experiences is going to end'. At present it is a kind of serio- 
comic story, isn't it, with the serio on toi)? 

T'o.M {thinking). Let's see. Here are we. both hio;]ilv educated 
young men. No doubt about that. 

Walt. Don't you think ' ' highly "' is rather too mild a term ? 

Tom. Well, yes; but we'll let it^ go at that. Here am 1, then, 

3 



4. FACING THE MUSIC. 

the son of a father who is in some mysterious place in South 
America, and whom I have never seen, left to the care of General 
Tarrant, an old friend of my missing parents ; treated by the gen- 
eral like a son, and given a good college education. 

Walt. At a college where, in addition to its educational ad- 
vantages, you had the good fortune to make my acquaintance. 

Tom. Yes; in order that I might get you out of vour many 
scrapes. Well, here are you, the son of a reverend sky-pilot— 

Walt. Who managed out of the salary he got for pilotage, and 
the fees for marrying people and giving them a final send-off in the 
cemetery, to give us the same Alma Mater. 

Tom. From thence we both graduated with honors. 

Walt. And returned home to astonish the natives of Wander- 
ton, Ohio. 

Tom. Where you, who know the Latin roots down to the 
ground — 

Walt. Yes — roots — ground — I see. Go ahead. 

Tom. And are studded all over with Greek particles, like the 
frettul porcupine, take yourself and them behind the counter of a 
country bank— a place where such knowledge would be naturally 
in great demand. 

Walt. And }ou, who have read everv law-bo(^k from those of 
the Medes and Persians to Byles on Bills, 'come home to write high- 
falutin articles for the local paper, with an occasional excursion into 
slipshod verse. 

Tom. Things go on swimmingly with us for a time, till a \ oung 
lady appears on the scene. 

Walt, {tragically). O woman! woman! 'Twas ever thus — 

Tom {hLterruptino;). Shut up! Miss Henderson, with her 
mother, visits our friends the Lamberts, where I meet her, and in- 
continently fall heels over head in love with her, and she falls heels 
over — 

Walt. No, sir : I donH know the young ladv, but certainly she 
would not do it in such a vulgar manner as tha't : say, rather, she 
pirouetted into love with you. 

Tom. Well, it does not matter how it was done, but she did. 
Now, I am poor and they are millionnaires, or whatever the feminine 
for the word is. 

Walt. Millionnairesses of course — million and heiresses — see ^ 
Tom. No, I don^t see. Well, the old ladv catches on, as the 
vulgar expression has it, to what is going on between us and 
hurries Ethel away to Indiana. where''her\stepfather lives 'from 
whence she is sent to a private school, and lovers voun^ dream is 
nipped in the bud. ' 

Walt. What a confusion of metaphor! Fancv a dream beino- 
nipj^ed in the bud ! Then you. heartbroken and disconsolate, de^ 
termine to make a fortune commensurate with hers, and, a^^ainst 
the will of your guardian, run away from home. 

Tom. And you, fearful lest you should get into some scrape, and 



FACING THE MUSIC. 5 

I not around to get you out of it, give up your clerkship, get letters 
of recommendation to a bank here, and follow yowr Ji(/i(s Achates 
to the great city where we are now both laying the foundations of 
colossal fortunes. How much did you say you owed your grocer? 

Walt. Same as you owe yours, old man. But to go on — ar- 
rived here, we, with the economy inculcated by a university life, 
rent two rooms instead of one, and proceed to spend what' little 
money we possess ia^lining at the best restaurants and visiting the 
theatres, till finally l^rought up by a financial snag. Then the more 
quick-witted of the two, — it would not become me to say which 
that is, — hits upon the happy idea of our keeping house, each having 
his own provision merchants, and getting credit therefrom, thus 
lengthening our tether, so to speak, and also, of sub-letting one 
of our rooms for double what we pay for it, thus making one apart- 
ment pay the rent of the other. 

Tom. Our advertisement does not seem to have been much of a 
success so far. 

Walt. No. {Vaivning.) And now, Tom, Tm tired collabo- 
rating in your interesting novel ; and, as I have to be busy next 
week, I think I had better go and lie down for a while and have a 
sleep. You can think over your story, and, like a good fellow, don't 
waken me on any account (going), unless you have something good 
for me to eat — so long. {Exit.) 

Tom. Poor Walter! I hope I have not injured his prospects by 
leaving home. He's a queer fellow : he only lacks one quality, and 
that is moral courage. He will do the most dare-devil thing ima- 
ginable ; but when it gets him into trouble, instead of acknowledg- 
ing his fault and facing the music like a man, he runs away and 
hides. Over and over again I have had to make excuses for him, 
and, Fm afraid, tell lies to screen him ; and it has always been a 
wonder to me he was not expelled from college, and that he was 
allowed to graduate at all. {Knocking at door.) Come in. 

{Enter Colonel Featherstone.) 

Colonel Featherstone. I beg your pardon, sir ; I'm afraid I 
have either mistaken the room or am too late. I come in answer 
to an advertisement I saw in the paper — 

Tom. Quite right, sir. This is the room, and you are not too 
late. 

Col. F. And might I ask, sir. if you are the landlord? 

Tom. Yes. sir. The fact is, I am sub-letting this apartment. I 
and another party occupy this and the next room {pointing to door, 
L.), and for reasons over which we have, at present, no control, we 
have decided to content ourselves with one instead of two rooms. 

Col. F. I see. {Aside.) Hard up. {Aloud.) Well, as you 
have, been so candid with me, sir, I will be equally so with you. and 
tell you why I want to rent this room. I have come here in search 
of some one : and the party having been seen in this neighborhood. 



6 FACING THE MUSIC. 

I wish to make this my base of operations, as we say in the army, 
until I am successful ; and, consequently, I am unable to say how 
long I may want tiie room. 

Tom. I know, sir ; as the song says, " It may be for years, and 
it may be forever." 

Col. F. {laugJiing) . Well, scarcely so long as that. I will 
take it by the month, however; and 1 think, from tiie hint you let 
drop just now, that you will have no obje(3|||Dn to my paying the 
rent in advance. (^Taking out Itis purse.) 

Tom. It will be most unobjectionable ; but you have not asked 
the rent yet. You might possibly think it as exorbitant as we did ; 
it is fifteen dollars a month. 

Col. F. That will be all right. {Counting out the tnoney on 
fdd/e.) I like the room, and I like you, young man ; and as I will 
only be in and out of here occasionally, I hope you will consider 
yourself at home in this room, and come and have a chat with me 
now and then when I am here. 

Tom. I will have great pleasure in doing so ; and now, sir, I 
will give you a receipt. {Sits at table, and takes pen and paper 
and begins writing.) What name, please.^ 

Col. F. Colonel Featherstone, at your service, late of the 409th 
Indiana Volunteers. 

Tom {/inis/u's writing receipt and Jtands it to tJie Colonel). 
Thank you, sir. 

Col. F. {reading signature; aside). Tom Akenside ! Why 
that is the nam3 of the young .scamp who has been making love to 
Ethel, and whom my old friend. General Tarrant, has adopted. A 
hundred to one the young fellow does not know that he has inher- 
ited a large fortune from his father, who died six months ago in 
Brazil. The general told me all about it when I went to Waiider- 
ton to see if the Lamberts knew where Ethel was. I am on the 
scent now, I think. {A/oud.) Well, sir, I will go to my hotel and 
bring my grip here, and will see you later on. •Good-morning. 

Tom. Good-morning, Colonel. (£'.r// Colonel.) He's" not a 
bad old sort. By Jove! We are in luck. {Calling.) Waher, 
Walter ! {Listening.) He's asleep. He told me not to waken him 
unless I had something good for him to eat, and I'll take him at his 
word, ril go at once and pay my bills, and lay in a stock of pro- 
visions. Won't he be surprised when he sees the lay-out I'll have 
for him by the time he awakes. {Exit.) 

{Enter Walter, rubbing his eves.) 

Walt. I'll swear I heard Tom calling me just now. I must 
have dreamt it. I wonder where he has gone. I suppose, poor 
fellow, he's oif to try an(nher publisher with his ''Laws of Lycur- 
gus." " The Laws of Lycurgus ! " Who in the name of common- 
sense would read it if it were published? I am afraid Tom will 
have to abandon literature and try something else. Well, let him 



FACING THE MUSIC. 7 

amuse himself. I will try and keep the pot boiling with my salary 
until Tom gets sick of poverty, and we both sneak back to Waii- 
derton like prodigal sons. {Knock at door.) Come in. 

{Enter E i hel Henderson.) 

Ethel. Excuse me, sir, but is this the room advertised in this 
morning's Herald? 

Walt. Yes, ma'am ; that is to say, one of them. 

Eth. I want to rent a room, but Tm afraid I've made a mistake. 
1 thought it said a bedroom. 

Walt. No mistake at all. This is a bedroom. Observe that 
bookcase yonder. By an ingenious arrangement, as the shades of 
night approach, it ceases to look as if it were a storehouse for 
mental pabulum, and becomes a soft and downy couch, where 
gentle sleeps woos the wearied frame. {Aside.) Except when it 
unexpectedly shuts up, and nearly smothers its occupant, as. it did 
me a few nights ago. 

Eth. How strange ! They look just like real books. {Goes to 
bookcase and reads titles of books.) " Rev. Jones's Sermons,"' 
" Blair's Sermons," " Sermons of the Rev. Doctor Secondly." 
Why, they are all sermons ! 

Walt. Yes ; sleep and sermons are closely identified. 

Eth. {langhijig). You are a strange young man, but I think 
from your appearance that I may venture to confide in you. I 
wish to take this room at once, as the one I have just left is being 
watched, and I don't want my whereabouts to be discovered. I 
have done nothing wrong. 1 have only run away from a school 
I did not like, and am afraid to go home for fear I shall be sent 
back again. 

W^ALT. Then I suppose you are independent, and can go where 
you please. 

Eth. No, indeed ; not yet. Fortunately, when I was younger 
I was fond of writing little stories, and my papa got me a type- 
writer, and I became proficient on it ; and when I told a friend of 
mine at the school I have run away from what I was going to do, 
she got me a position in her father's office. 

Walt. You are fortunate; but I fear the rent of this room is 
rather too high. As far as I am personally concerned, I would let 
you have it for a mere nothing ; but, unfortunately, I am only part 
owner of it, and the other man is an awfully hard-hearted fellow, a 
regular skinflint, in fact. He said to me, "Walter" (1 was 
christened Walter), " Walter," said he, " not a cent under $15.00 a 
month ; and, mind you, payable in advance."' I am afraid that 
won't suit you. 

Eth. On the contrary, it will suit me perfectly, and I shall take 
the room at once. ( Takitii^^ oat parse to pay.) 

Walt, {aside). Tom said I wasn't a business man, and to let 
him attend to this matter. He'll think differently now. {Aloud.) 
You will want a receipt. {Sits do^vn and writes.) I beg your 
pardon, what name did you say? 



8 FACING THE MUSIC. 

Eth. I did not say any name ; but you may put it. down Ara- 
bella Smith. 

Walt, {pausing in his writing). Are there two h\ in Arabella ? 

Eth. {confused). No; I think there is only one. I really am 
not sure. 

Walt. Oh, that's nothing; 1 frequently forget how to spell my 
own name. {Aside.) She\s giving us a false name. {Aloud.) 
Th-ink you, Miss Smith ; much obliged. 

Eth. Well, good-morning. I will be back in an hour or so. 

Walt, Good-morning. (£".17/ Ethel.) What a stunning girl 
she is ! Now what is best to be done? Shall I keep this money till 
Tom comes in, or shall I go at once and divide it between our 
respective grocers and butchers? No; they would take it, of 
course, and might refuse to give any more credit till paid in full. 
That would never do. So Til go and pay mine, and lay in a stock 
of provisions sufficient to last us half a year or so. That's what 
ril do. ril run out now, and have a banquet ready for Tom when 
he comes back that will open his eyes as well as his mouth. I'll 
go out the back way for fear I should meet him. {Exit Walter.) 

{Enter To.m ivitli basket of provisions.) 

Tom {looking at door, l.). He's not awake yet ; Em glad of that, 
for ril be able to fix things before he comes. Let's see, what do I 
want? A tablecloth first. {Gets it from closet and puts it on 
table.) Now for the knives, forks, spoons, and all the necessary 
adjuncts. {Goes to closet for t/ie/n.) I like that old colonel, and 
he seems to have taken a fancy to me. Who knows but he may in- 
terest himself in my behalf. He may know some publisher, and 
use his influence to get my " Laws of Lycurgus " accepted. If once 
it was printed, my name would be made ; for it would be sure to 
be criticised favorably, and lead to controversial articles on the 
subject in the daily papers. I must play my cards well with the 
colonel, and, if I get the chance. Ell read the article to him, and 
that will please him. Then I tell him the whole story, about Ethel 
and all. Now for the comestibles. {Opens several packages of 
provisions and puts them on the table.) That looks all right. 
Where is the coffee-pot? Here it is. {Coming down with coffee- 
pot in his hand.) Once it is published I shall be inundated with 
requests to write for all the leading magazines. Then the money 
will flow in, and Til go back to Wanderton and practise law. That 
naturally leads to a seat in Congress, then the Senate : and who 
knows {waving the coffee-pot in the air) but Ethel's beautiful 
presence may yet grace the White House. {.Sits down ; puts coffee 
in coffee-pot}) 

{Enter Walter, laden with packages.) 

W^alt. Whafs all this about? Where the d — 1 did he get all 
that stuff from? Thev must have given him more credit. Well, I 



FACING THE MUSIC. 9 

won't let him know the good news yet a while. Til hide tliese 
somewhere. {Puis packages behind ann-chair in cor?ier.) 

Tom. Then I could make Walter Secretary of State if I please. 1. 
No ; that would never do. He would have u.s at loggerheads wilh 
every country in the world before a year was up. 1 wish he\l come 
out ; I am getting hungry. 

Walt. Hello, Tom! Where did you get all that feed? Has 
the Department of Charities been around ? 

Tom {latighifig). No ; not yet. Come along. Sit down and let 
us get rid of these before our new lodger comes back. He said he"d 
be here soon. 

Walt, {horrijied). What — what' did you say? Vou don't 
mean to say you've rented the room already ! 

Tom. That's what I have {eaiing) , ^i\d to a military man too. 
Oh, I've been attending to business w^hile you were snoring awaV in 
the next room. 

Walt, {sits down at table ; aside). Great Caesar! This is the 
worst scrape I've ever been in ; and he told me not to meddle, and 
to leave it all to him. {Aloud, prete?idi/ig to eat.) Say, Tom, did 
he pay you in advance? 

Tom. Of course he did. Where did you think all this came from. 

Walt, And have you spent all the money? 

Tom. Of course I have. 

Walt, {aside). O Lord! and so have I. {Aloud.) And you 
say he's coming here soon? 

Tom. Yes ; let's hurry up. You're not eating anything ; what's 
the matter with you ? 

Walt, {trying to eat). Nothing; the fact is. I'm so surprised at 
our good luck — it was so sudden, you know — so remarkably sud- 
den, that it has taken away my appetite. {Aside.) What's to be 
done? I dare not tell him what has happened. They will both be 
here soon, and one of them will want the money back, and it's all 
gone. I can't stay here : I'll be shot if I do. I'll let Tom fix it up ; 
he's as good a hand at getting out of a scrape as I am at getting in. 
It is better I should go. I'll be only in the way here. {.Aloud, with 
his hand to his jaw, as if in great pain.) O Tom, I've got an awful 
toothache. 

Tom. I thought there was something the matter with you. It 
has come on very suddenly, hasn't it ? 

Walt. Yes : very sudden. It's that same confounded tooth 
that used to trouble me so at college. You remember? 

Tom. Why I was with you when you had it out ! 

Walt, {rising). Yes, I know you were; but the dentist must 
have left some of it in the jaw, or the bone has become decayed. 
Will you excuse me like a good fellow? I can't eat, and I'll go to 
the drug-store and get something for it. 

Tom. I'm sorry. I thought you'd have enjoyed your lunch. 
Well, don't be long. 

Walt, No ; Til be back directly. {Exit Walter.) 



lO FACING THE MUSIC. 

Tom. {rising and beginning to ciea?' tabic). What a pity Walter 
eouldirt eat ! He seems quite nervous ; nerves aflfccted by the tooth- 
ache I suppose. Hang it ! Y\\ have to take all these plates and 
things into the next room, for we have no right in here any more. 
I wish Walter had stayed and helped to clean up ; well, we can do 
it later on. ( J^itts tilings on a tray and oocs into next room. Ke- 
cntcis.) Well, I may as well go out for a while. (if,r/VToM.) 

{J\ntcr Colonel FeathI':rstone wit Ji grip in his hand.) 

Coi-. F. {sitting down). Y\\ rest myself here for a little, n • 
then go to the detective agency and see if they have found any cl • 
as to Ethel's whereabouts. I must have a talk first with youi g 
Akenside, and find out if he knows anything about her. The gen- 
eral told me he had left home quite suddenly, without leaving any 
address, and it must have been about the same time that Ethel ran 
awav. Now, there is just a possibility that they eloped together, 
and that she might be here now. {Starting up and going towards 
door, I,.) He said there was another party with him. Why, she 
might 1)C in that very room thereat this moment! (Stops.) No, 
that's nonsense ; I don't believe such a thing possible. {Sits down 
again.) 

{Enter Ethel.) 

Eth. (seeing Colonel's back ; aside^ . Oh, tiiis must be the hard- 
hearted old skinfiint that young man spoke of. (Is ^oing to speak 
when she recoi^niscs the COLOSEL ; aside.) My stepfatlier here! He 
has tracked me ! Oh, what shall I do? Where shall I hide myself.'^ 
(7Vie Colonel rises and moves toward the door, c, and closes it 
with his back to Ethel, wJio slips into room, l.) 

Col. F. (sitting down again). I wish that young fellow would 
return. I want to talk to him ; I am only wasting precious time 
here. 

(Enter Tom.) 

Tom. So you found your way here, colonel. 

Col. F. Yes, sir ; and I have brought my belongings. And 
now, sir, will j'ou be so good as to sit down for a wliile? I ha\ c 
something ver\ important I want to tell you : but, first, 1 will speak 
to you about myself. 

Tom (aside). So much the better, and then 1 can talk to hini 
about myself afterwards. 

Col. F. You know my name, and 1 th.ink that is all. 

Tom. Yes, sir. 

Col. F. Well, young man. I live in Indiana, at a place called 
Hopeville. 

Tom (snfprised : aside). Hopeville! Why. that is where 
Ethel's home is ! (Aloud.) I have heard of the town, colonel ; it 
is a very pretty place, isn't it ? 

Col. F. Yes, it is a pretty place. (Aside.) He takes it very 
coollv. 



FACING THE MUSIC. I I 

Tom. I met a lady and her daughter who came from there, some 
time ago, named Henderson. Do you know them.'' 

Col. F. Yes, sh-; I do. But you are wrong; the elder lady's 
name was not Henderson. 

Tom. Was it not? 

Col. F. No, sir, she was twice married ; her name is Feather- 
stone. 

Tom {starting 7(p.) Then, sir, you are Ethel's — I mean Miss 
Henderson's stepfather. I am glad to know you, sir. {Holdini^ out 
his hand. ) 

Col. F. {not taking his hand). One moment, sir; you must 
first tell me if you know where Miss Henderson is now. 

Tom. Why, sir, I was told she was at school ; but I really don't 
know where. 

Col. F. On your honor, sir ? 

Tom. Certainly ; on my honor. 

Col. F. {taking his hand). I believe you, my boy. And now 
let me tell you that I know all about you ; tliat (General Tarrant is 
an old comrade of mine- — fought side by side with me in many a 
hard battle ; and that he is greatly grieved at your conduct in run- 
ning away from home. What are you doing here 1 

Tom. Well, colonel, there was no chance of my getting on in 
Wanderton, so I came on here. 

Col. F. What to do ? 

Tom. To make a name for myself in literature? 

Col. F. Pshaw! Literature. What sort- of literature ? There 
are many kinds, from Sliakespeare to a dime novel. I should think 
from your running away that your literature is of the latter kind. 

Tom. No, sir. Not fiction of any kind ; facts, sir. {Aside.) 
Now's my tims ! {Taking niannscript from his pocket ; aloud.) 
Here is an article I have written on the " Laws of Lycurgus." 

Col. F. Lycurgus ; that's some new place out West, I suppose. 
I should not think there was much law out there to write about, 
except Lynch Law. 

Tom (laughing). Lycurgus was not a town, sir; he was a man. 
{Settles himself comfortably, and is about to read.) 

Col. F. A man. Was he ? {Aside.) God bless me ! He's go- 
ing to read it to me. {Aloud.) Well, anpther time it will give me 
great pleasure to hear it read ; but I must go at once and continue 
my search for Ethel. 

Tom {surprised). For Ethel ? 

Col. F. Yes, sir. I am searching for Ethel, who left her school 
about the same time that you ran away from home, and who has 
been seen in this neighborhood ; and that's the reason I asked you 
if you knew where she was. 

Tom. I understand, colonel ; but I solemnly swear to you 
that I — 

Col. F. It is not necessary, my boy; you have given me yon- 
word of honor, and that is sufficient between gentlemen. I will sji 



12 FACING THE MUSIC. 

you again this evening, when I will tell you some news that I think 
will surprise you. Good-day. {Exit Colonel, leaving his cam 
behind.) 

{Enter Ethel.) 

Eth. He's gone. Tom, dear Tom! {Running to Jiini.) 
Tom {surprised). Good Heavens, Ethel ! where have you come 
from ? {Embracing her.) How do you happen to be here ? 
Eth. 1 will tell you all about it — ' 

{Enter Colonel Featherstone.) 

Col. F. I forgot my cane — {Sees Ethel in Tom's arms; 
after standing motionless for a mome7it.) Ethel ! Ethel ! Come 
to me, my poor girl. (Ethel goes towards him.) O Ethel, I am 
sorry for this. Tell me, has this young i-qan ^ny legal right to pre- 
vent your coming home with me ? 

Eth. No, sir. 

Col. F. And \o\x will come home with me, will you not, dear 
Ethel ? 

Eth. Oh, yes, sir; if you will promise not to send me to scliool 
any more. 

Col. F. I promise you I won't. {Turnino toToM.) And you, 
sir, what am I to say to you t 

Tom. I assure you, sir, I — 

Col. F. {sternly). Not a word, sir! Not another word ! Oh, 
how I have been mistaken in you ! General Tarrant told me you 
were an honorable, straightforward young man, and what do I find 
— that you are a liar, sir ! A mean, contemptible liar, sir ! 

Eth. O sir, you are mistaken — 

Tom. How dare you, sir, speak to me like that ? 

Col. F. By the Lord, sir, if you say another word, Til forget 
myself, and strike ycu ! Come, Ethel. 

Eth. {as they are going out). But, sir, he didn't know-^ 
{Exeunt the Colonel, sla7nming the door^) 

Tom {coming down). Am I asleep or awake ? Am I in my 
right senses, or stark, staring, raving mad ? What does it all 
mean ? How did Ethel come to be in that room ? I wish Walter 
had been here, the colonel might have listened to him. I couldn't 
get a word in edgewise. 

{Enter Walter, peeping^ 

Walt, {aside). The coast's clear; I saw them go. I wonder 
how he managed the delicate affair. {Aloud.) All, right, Tom; 
I have had my tooth fixed. 

Tom. Walter, come liere and look at me. Do you see any signs 
of incipient madness about me? 

Walt. No, Tom ; not more than usual. 

Tom. I was afraid I was going crazy. Sit down, and Fll tell 
you the most extraordinary thing that ever happened. 



FACING THE iMUSlC. 1 3 

Walt, {sitlino). Go ahead. I'm all ears, as the donkey re- 
marked. 

Tom. You remember I told you I had rented the room to a 
military man? 

Walt. Yes. 

Tom. Guess who he was.-* 

Walt. I give it up. Ask me another. 

Tom. Well, he was Ethel's stepfather. 

Walt. Your Ethel's.? 

Tom. Yes ; and when he came back this afternoon he told me 
he knew all about me, and that he was a friend of the general's. 

Walt. You don't say so. 

Tom. Yes ; and it seems Ethel ran away from school about the 
same time that we left home, and Colonel Featherstone asked me 
on my word of honor if 1 knew where she was. I told him I did 
not, and he went away satisfied ; but, unfortunately ns it happened, 
he forgot his cane, and when he came back what do }0U think he 
found? 

Walt. His cane. 

Tom. Don't be a fool ! He found Ethel in my arms. 

Walt. Ethel! W^hat was she doing there ? 

Tom. I don't know at all, Walter. She came out of our room, 
and before she had time to explain how she came to be there, the 
old fellow was back and caught us. Then he gave me Hail Colum- 
bia, called me a mean, contemptible liar, and dragged Ethel away. 

Walt. By the hair of the head? • 

Tom. Nonsense ! And mind you, Walter, only a few minutes 
before, we were so friendly that I was going to read him my " Laws 
of Lycurgus." 

Walt. Ah-h-h. Thafs what did it : I see it all. The old 
fellow came on here with his daughter, and hid her in our room till 
he found out what kind of a fellow you were. Then you go and 
spring your " Laws of Lycurgus" on him, and he naturally runs 
awa\'. 

Tom. Don't be silly. 

Walt. Tell me, did he get back his fifteen dollars? 

Tom. No ; of course not. 

Walt. And he won't be back? 

Tom. No : I guess not. 

Wat.t. Look here, Tom, I am beginning to see that there is a 
mine of wealth in that article of yours. I think it will be worth 
a lot of money to us. 

Tom. Yes : if we can get it published. 

Walt. No ; that's notnecessary. All we have to do is to keep 
on renting this room, getting paid in advance, of course, and you 
read the ^' Laws of Lycurgus '' to them the day they take posses^ 
sion ; and then, ot course.they will go away and never come back 
again. 

To?>L In. tliis case thev have, for I hear the colonel's voice now. 



A NEW PLAY FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS. 



A KING'S DAUGHTER. 

A COMEDY IN THREE ACT% 

KOR KENlAIvE CHA.RAOXKRS ONIvY. 

By RACHEL E. BAKER, 

Author of "The Chapkron," "After Taps," Bob," xtc. 

Eleren female characters. Scenery, an interior and an exterior. Costumes, 
modern. Plays tAvo hours. This piece is an excellent solution of the difficult 
problem of writing a strong acting play for female characters only. Nan 
Graham's self-denying heroism and laudable ambition arouse the strongest dra- 
matic sympathy, and her right to wear "the silver cross" is faithfully won. 
Ample humorous incident and plenty of enjoyable girlish frivolity serve to re- 
lieve the trials of the heroine. This piece will not only serve to promulgate the 
charitable objects of the organization from which it takes its name, but will 
make a strong dramatic appeal. 

Price .... 35 Centg. 

SYNOPSIS: 

ACT I. Mrs. Graham's drawi;ig-room. The King's Daughters. Rebecca and 
the deacon. A belated love-story. "The name of Rebecca Spencer will 
always live." Nan's lover. The poor relation. An unknown friend. The 
sewing bee. Nan's secret. The Kodak. Mab's poetry. Tea and tease. 
Polly's ruse. " It is good cake, Helen." The lost letter. 

ACT II. The Fair. Polly makes her mark. The post-oflRce. Tender correspon- 
dence. Patient Nan. Kitty's cake. Polly and the glue. Sallie's candy. 
The secret of the letter. Business. Florence and the soda-fountain. The 
letter found. Nan's trial. The sacrifice. Duty before all. "My house is 
no longer her home, if she refuses." Nan's choice. The world before her. 
In His Name. 

ACT III. In the hay-field. The mysterious hostess. Nan's birthday. Miss 
Rebecca's " Romeo." Polly's speech. Regrets. " Is there no atonement I 
can make?" The Deacon speaks at last. Rebecca's discovery. Helen, "I 
Avill never again call myself a King's Daughter until Nan has forgiven me." 
Coals of fire. The dairy-maids' dance. The Fairy Godmother. A sur- 
prise. Nan's inheritance. The tell-tale photograph. A new Cinderella. 
Aunt Clarissa's mystery. The explanation. " A King's Daughter." 



A NEW COMEDIETTA. 



A Borrowed Umbrella. 

A COMEDIETTA IN ONE ACT. 

By ESTHER B. TIFFANY, 

Author of "A Rtce Pudding," "A IVIodel Lover," etc. 

Two male and two female characters. Scenery, unimportant ; costumes mod- 
ern. A very bright and graceful little tritle. Plays only about fifteen minutes. 

Price . . . . 15 Centg. 



A NEW WAK DRAMA. 



At the Picket Line. 

A Military Drama of the Civil War in Five Acts. 
By JUSTIN ADAMS, 

iUTHOB OF "T'RISS; OB, BEYOND THE BOCKIES," "THE INFERNAl ?i A 

CHINE," "DAAVN," "THE SLICIDE CLUB," "THE ENGINEEB," 

"THE BAG-PICKEE'S CHILD,' "THE LIMIT OF THE LAW," 

" DOWN EAST," ETC. 

Ten male and three female characters. Costumes modern and militaiy 
Scenery varied, but not difficult. This piece is a proven success, having been on 
the road for several seasons, and is now printed for the first time with all the 
original " business" and stage directions. Its story is ingenious and absorbing 
in interest, its sentiment genuinely patriotic, its dialogue vigorous and its hitmor 
abundant. An excellent battle scene and a camp scene, both perfectly practica- 
ble, admirably fit it for the use of Grand Army entertainments. All the char- 
acters are strong, Cherrington, the hero, being very magnetic, and Silvy, a refined 
Boubrette, a part of great opportunity. 

Price .... 25 Cents. 

SYNOPSIS: 

ACT I. The Northern home. " The best darter that ever lived." Hiram and 
Silvy. A wayward son. Albert Cherrington. More than a brother. The 
mortgage. The hawk and the dove. "Too late I He has given his word." 
Silvy speaks. " But I havn't." 

ACT il. Scene 1. Dissembling. The wedding ring. A deserter. The awk- 
ward squad. " The gal I left behind me." French leave. The wrong man. 
An easy promotion. Under Arbest. Scene 2. At headquarters. " A wise 
recruit that knows his own name." The missing witness. Crosscomb again. 
" I never saw that man before in all my life." Doomed. 

ACT III. At the picket line. Camp followers. The fringe of a plot. In rebel 
uniform. Leonora and Caleb. Outwitted. "Remember that one live woman 
is more dangerous than a hundred dead men." Surrendered to a girl. 
Scene 2. The battle. A skulker. Playing possum. A bold charge. "An- 
other victory for the North." Scene 3. After the battle. Kobbing the 
dead. The vision of Silvy. The Recognition. " No ! He is a Union spy." 

ACT IV. The Union camp. Humors of camp life. " A drop o' the crater.'' 
A vile plot. The warning. " Here's a small bottle for yourself alone." 
The tables turned. "My God, the liquor was poisoned!" The traitor's 
death. " It means that 1, who have almost starved for a crust of bread, am 
now a millionaire.'' 

ACT V. The North again. A ruined home. The returned soldier. Crosscomb 
once more. Silvy's wedding day. Albert Cherrington. Dark before the 
dawn. "Ah, it is his ring." Hiram lifts the veil. "Yes, Silvy, he is 
arliving." Crosscomb crossed. "Then her father's, son will pay it." The 
altar and the halter. United. 



A NEW MONOLOGUE FOR A GENTLEMAN. 



The Proposal. 



r 



By HECTOR FEZANDIE. 

One male character In modern costume. A very clever and Ingenious little 
B«<»ry of every-day life, very lively and dramatic. Plays twelve miuates. 

Price • a • . 15 Cents. 



By the author OF " SHAMROCK AND ROSE.' 



A Bit o' Blarney. 

An Irish Play of the Present Time in Three Acts. 
by fitzgerald murphy. 

Author of " Shamrock and Rose," •' The Irish Statesman," etc. 

As originally performed at the Park Theatre, Los Angeles, CaL, April 10, 18:?3. 

Nine male and two female cliaraoters. Modern costumes. Scenery, an ex- 
terior and two interiors, not difficult. Time in playing, two hours and a half. 
This is an entirely new and original drama of Irish life. Its plot is unconven- 
tional and stirring, its interest is absorbing, its incident fresh and abundant and 
its dialogue replete with true Irish wit, humor, sentiment and poetry. Rody, 
the Rover, originally played by the author, is a near relation of Boucicault's 
"Coun" and "Shaun." Mr. Lawton, the American lawyer, is a capital part; 
Cuddeen Cassidy, Corkerry, Darby Darney and Shevaun are excellent character 
bits. This is a very strong piece alike in plot and character, ani acts itself. 
Price 85 Cents. 

SYNOPSIS: 

ACT I. Glen Blarney by moonlight. Old-fashioned love-making. The arrival 
of the American. The rescue. The first chapter in an international i-omance. 
A story of California. Rody and the leprehaun. The story of Ros:ileen. Tlie 
black bird and the dove. The blow. Love under the furze-blossoms. The 
trust. The robbery and the murder. The Accusatiox. 

ACT II. Shevaun's shebeen at sunset. The May-day festivities. The Queen o' 
the May. Cuddeen Cassidy falls into the wrong company. The old, old 
story. Lord and peasant. The proposal. The story of the murder. Arrival 
of the police. The parting. The Arrest. 

ACT III, Blarney Manor. " The darkest hour before the dawn." A California 
game of bluff. The murderer and the ghost. The widow's predicament. 
The conspirators. The Bit o' Blarney. Rosaleen's peril. The attempted 
assassination. The tables turned. Squire Rody. 



for f emale character s only. 

THE GOVERNESS 



A CONIKDY IN ONK ACT. 

FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS. 



Three characters, two of which impersonate two others as well. Scenery, 
a simple interior. Costumes of the last century, but may be modern, if desired. 
An admirable piece for two clever girls, good at disguises, providing a bright and 
snappy entertainment for school or hall. 

Price 16 Cents. 



\ A NEW SHAKESPERIAN TRAVESTY. 



The Shakespeare Wooing 

A P11A.Y OF Shbhtds and Patches taken from the Wokks of 
William Shakespeare. 



By M. M. TAYLOR, 

Part Author of "The Chronothanatoletron. 



Two male, five female characters. Scenery, unimportant ; costumes, Shake- 
gperian. Plays about forty minutes. 

Price .... 15 cents. 

This most amusing entertainment treats certain well-lcnown Shakesperian 
characters in a similarly whimsical way to that employed in " The Shakespeare 
Water-Cure" and "Place aux Dames." Its argument is, briefly, as follows: 
Lady Macbeth, being left a widow by the sudden and lamentable demise of 
her husband, falls in love with Komeo, and, taking advantage of Leap Year, 
woos him with gentle firmness. He refuses her, assuring her that he loves 
Ophelia. Lady Macbeth, mad with jealousy, procures an epitome of mod- 
ern literature from the three witches, former friends of her husband, and, giving 
it to Ophelia, causes her "reason's overthrow." Ophelia, having lost her 
reason, falls in love with Launcelot Gobbo. The play is ended by the remorse 
of Lady Macbeth, who restores Ophelia to her senses and to her lover, at 
the same time bestowing her own hand vipon Launcelot. 

It is heartily to be recommended for its cleverness, its refinement, its tast« 
and its wit, as well as for its dramatic quality. 



A NEW ENTERTAINMENT FOR GIRLS. 



The Soap-Bubble Drill 



By MARGARET FEZANDIE, 

Author of "The Tennis Drill." 



Price 15 cents. 

This novel and picturesque drill will at once recommend itself to all lovers 
of this style of entertainment. Sixteen little girls take part, or, if preferred, 
eight boys and eight girls can be used instead. The drill is equally adapted for 
the lawn, in summer, or the stage or drawing-room in winter, and not only 
attractively utilizes childish grace and beauty in its evolutions, but originally 
presents an attractive effect of color combinations in its costuming. It mighi 
be called, if desired, the " Rainbow Drill." 



A NE W SOCIETY D RAMA. 

THE TRUSTEB. 

A F*i^AY IN KouR Acts. 

By WILLIAM MAYNADIER BROWNE. 

Author of "A Fool for Luck," "Ked or White," "Bachelor's Hall," 
"An April Day," "Betty," etc. 

As originally performed by " The Players," of West Newton, Mass., at City 
Hall, November 24, 1890. 

Ten male ami five female cliaracters. Costumes, modern and elegant. 
Scenery three easy interiors, capable, however, of any amount of elaborai iou. 
This really admirable play, upon a purely Americaji subject, with American 
scenes and American characters, is a capital piece for a good company. Its 
story is absorbing in interest, its dialogue crisp and bright, its action and inci- 
dents stirring, its tone dignified and its hiimor refined. In its general character 
it is not unlike the popular " Jim, the Penman," and like that piece every 
pai-t is a strong and important one. 

Price 26 Cents. 



SYNOPSIS: 

ACT T. — Drawing-room in the Trustee's house. A doubtful chs.racter. A tell- 
tale letter. A little deal. Barbara and business. $60,000 in bills. Peacock's 
prescription. Philip and Barbara. " The birthday of our happiness." The 
sleeping draught. "This will smooth the way to the safe." A toast. 

FOILED. 

ACT II. — Office of the Trustee. The blind guardian. The burglary. Puz- 
zled. " My eyes, my eyes ! "With them I could have told." The Trustee and 
his trust. Suspicion. Husband and wife. The inquiry. "It is useless 
— the criminal is in this room ! " 

ACT III. — The Trustee's house. Under arrest. A mystery. " "We must^^rore 
him innocent in spite of himself." The Trustee's confession. " It is not 
true." Conn O'Hara to the rescue. "Now's your chance. Sure, it's asleei> 
lam." Husband and wife. ""Will you force me to prove your guilt?" 
Light at last. " I am innocent — I swear it on my honor ! " 

ACT lY. — The trial. Pettibone and Peacock. A mysterious errand. A strong 
case. The blind witness. The fur coat. Not proven. The hands ok 
JUSTICE. "Hold him! These are the hands that gagged me!" Bun to 
earth at last. Counterfeit money and real affection. " Dora, darling, there's 
not a cloud left." Acquitted. 



FOR FEMALE CHARAC TERS. 

GAFFER GREY'S LEGACY. 

A. CorviEDY IN Tw^o Acts. 
For Female Characters Only. 

Eight female characters. Costumes modern ; mourning dresses in the first 
act, gay gowns in the second. A very sprightly and humorous little play, full ot 
huiiian nature and fun. 

Price , . . , , 15 Cents, 



A NEW ENTERTAINMENT FOR LADIES. 



JOLLY JOE'S 
LADY MINSTRELS. 

Selections for the ''Sisters." 

Written, compiled and edited in the sole interest of cheerfulness, from *ilie most 
jovial sources, and arranged with a particular eye to the needs of 

KKIVIALK NKORO NlINSTRKIvS. 

By Mrs. A. M. SILSBEE and Mrs. M. B. HORNE. i 

This little book describes the programme recently employed in an actua. 
performance of this character, and is offered as a guide to others seeking light ou 
this "dark subject." It provides jokes, a svvimp-speech, a darky play — "Bells" 
in the Kitchen,"— written for female characters only, and suggests a programme 
of songs. The difficulty which ladies have found in collecting humorous material 
sufficiently refined for their purpose, and the impossibility of procuring an after- 
piece for this sort of entertainment, of which men have heretofore had a monop- 
oly, suggested the publication of this book, which meets both these wants. 

Price 25 Cents. 



,arti 



A NKV/ DRAMA. 

HICK'RY FARM. 

fi GOMEDY-DRAMR OF NEW ENQLAND LIFE IN TWO ACTS. 

By EDWIN M. STERN. 

Six male, two female characters. A charming delineation of New England 
rural life, presenting a diversity of excellent characters, that of the farmer, 
Ezekiel Fortune, being particularly good. Scenery : a landscape, A^^ith small set 
cottage, and a plain room. Costumes of the present time. Time of playing, au. 
hour and a half. 

Price ..... 586 Centn, 



B 



AKER'S SELECTED LIST 
OF JUVENILE QPERETTA5 



Designed especially for Church, School, and other Amateur Organ- 
izations. Complete, with all the music and full directions for 
performance. 



/ 



Grandpa's Birthday. In One Act. "Words by Dexter Smith; 
mnsicby C. A. Whitk. For one adult (male or female) and three 
children; chorus, if desired. PiiiCE, 25 Cents. 

Jimmy, The Newsboy. In One Act. Written and composed by 
W. C. Park Eli. For one adult (male), and one boy. No chorus. 
Very easy and tuneful. PniCE, 25 Cents. 

The Four-leafed Clover. In Three Acts. By MAky B. Horne. 

For children of from six to fifteen years. Seven boys, seven girls, 
and chorus. Very picturesque. Price, 50 Cents. 

ns and Buttons. In One Act. Words by Wm. H. Lepere; 
-iiusic by Alfi:iod G. Uobyx. Two male and two female characters; 
no chorus. Very comical and easy. Price, 50 Cents. 

Hunt the Thimble. In One Act. Words by A. G. Lewis; mnsicby 
Leo R. Lewis. Two male, two female characters and small chorus. 
Simple and pretty. Price, 50 Cents. 

Red Riding Hood's Rescue. In Four Scenes. Words' by J. E. 
Estabrook; music by J. Astor Broad. Three male, four female 
characters and chorus. Price, 50 Cents. 

Golden Hair and the Three Bears. In Five Scenes. By J. Astor 
Broad. Three adults (2 m., 1 f.), eight children and chorus. Music 
is easy, graceful, and pleasing. Price, 75 Cents. 

R. E. Porter ; or, The Interviewer and the Fairies. In Three 
Acts. Words by A. G. LE^yIs; music by Leo Ft. Lewis. Six male, 
six female characters, and chorus. . Very picturesque and pretty. 

Price, 75 Cents. 

Gyp, Junior. In Two Acts. Words bv Earl Marble; music by 
D. F. Hodges. Two males, one female (adult), three children and 
chorus. Very successful and easily produced. Price, 75 Cents. 

AlvinGray; or, The Sailor's Return. In Three Acts. Written 
and composed by C. A. White. Ten characters, including chorus; 
can be made more effective by employing a larger number. 

Price, 75 Cents. 



Catalogues describing the above and other popular entertain- 
ments sent free on application to 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO., 

THEATRICAL PUBLISHERS, 

No. 23 Winter Street, - Boston, Mass. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



NEW OPERETTAS FOl 



Odd Operas for 




018 597 433 9 • 



A Collection of Short and Simple Musical Entertainments for Children. 

By Mrs. C. N. BORDMAN, 

Author of *'Thk Kingdom of Mother Goose," "Motion Sox<5s for the School- 
room," *' The Temperance Clarion," etc. 

Complete with all the music and full instructions for performance. This collection is 
strongly reconnuended for its simplicity, originality of idea, tunefulness and perfect prac- 
ticability. 

Price 50 cents. 

A GLIMPSE OF THE BROWNIES. A Musical Sketch for Chil ■ 

dren. For any number of boys. 

JIMMY CROW. A Recitation for a Little Girl. 

MARKET DAY. An Operetta for Young People. Seven speaking fjifrts 
and chorus. I 

QUEEN FLORA'S DAY DREAM. An Operetta for Children. 8^ 
speaking parts and chorus. \ 

THE BOATING PARTY. A Musical Sketch for Little Children. Thirty 
boys and girls. 

SIX LITTLE GRANDMAS. A Musical Pantomime for very Little 
Children. Six very little girls. 

A HOUSE IN THE MOON. A Recitation for a Little Girl. 



ROBIN'S SPECIFIC; 

OR, THE CHANGES OF A NIGHT. 
A. Christnias Oi^krexxa in One Act. 



Words by 
AMELIA SANFORD. 



Music by 
ADAM CIEBEL. 



For one adult and nine children from eight to sixteen years old, with eight very little boys 
and twelve little girls for Chorus. Three changes of scene, very easily arranged, costumes 
varied but simple and readily procured. Very effective and easily gotten up. 



Price 



25 cents. 



Catalogues describing ike above and other popular entertainments sent free on application tc 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO., 

THEATRICAL PUBLISHERS, 

No. 23 Winter Street, - - BOSTON, t^^*^" 



